It was 2 months ago
today that my father passed from this world into the next. And in those
few months, suffice to say it has been the most transformative,
insightful learning and reflections.
As a family, we've learnt to live with the loss, and the constant void. It's something that's always there, but Alhamdulillah, I'm learning to be centred; to be able to choose what my energy is focused on.
There are of course days where the void is felt more, like when I was remembering the time we took a family picture after graduation. It was me, my brother and mother in our graduate gowns, and I thought, when my younger brother graduates, we could all do it again. Take another picture at the studio. And then it hit me that it wouldn't be the same… since my dad won't be there.
But on a more positive note! Growing up, I learnt a lot from my father. He was a quiet person, who speaks only when needed and on those occasions, he makes his words count! I suppose that's why many have come to him for advice, and perhaps as a coach, (from my eavesdropping ears point of view anyways!) seldom he would tell others to do this or that, but helping them consider their options instead. And the way he says it is often in the most non-judgemental manner. And what he says often is not just from the head (logical) and heart (emotions) but from a peaceful core. From his soul perhaps.
Mum often tells stories of my father's generosity. InshaAllah may his gifts to others continue to bring him mercy from Allah in the hereafter. I remember in my student days, where my dad would drive me across country (literally!) from Tampines to NTU late at night… or whenever he found out that I was running low on funds and without question or comment, he would transfer money into my account.
Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time my dad scolds me for anything. Oh wait a minute, he does! He scolds me every Sunday for waking up late and dragging my sleepy feet in helping my mum with the cooking and cleaning! :P In my head at least, he still does. :)
My father worked as a teacher/lecturer in all his professional life. Although his passion, I suspect, was inventing! He taught Mechatronics Engineering at ITE and every few months he'd take up a new project with his colleagues. Of course my dad was the type to bring his work home! We'd be fascinated by the robots and all the programming on the computer and all the associated gadgets. I remember the robot that could do a lion dance! And a particular device that could tell the blind person what bus was approaching at the bus-stop. All of these assembled at the dinner table of course! :D
I learnt tenacity, focus, diligence, and getting the task done well with the best effort one can possibly give, no matter how simple or small the task may be. Sincerely from the soul, and whole-heartedly always. Come to think of it, that's what my mum and dad have in common :)
These days, as my father's friends visit my mum to offer company and their condolences, they too reminisce about their friendship with my father. And I'm hearing fascinating stories once again, a side of my father I never knew. Good things of course, about his ability to speak - apparently my dad was a very influential and affective speaker back in his youth activist days with HBI. That was how my father knew my mum. And thanks to his decisiveness and quick action, he had proposed to her. They were engaged and six months later, married.
It's surreal MashaAllah to think that if history had gone any other way, I would not be writing this at this very moment. What my father's legacy will be in the form of his children (and not to mention his many students!)… only time will tell, and only God knows. But one thing I know for sure is to remember to emulate the things he taught me… Sincerely from the soul, and whole-heartedly always. :)
As a family, we've learnt to live with the loss, and the constant void. It's something that's always there, but Alhamdulillah, I'm learning to be centred; to be able to choose what my energy is focused on.
There are of course days where the void is felt more, like when I was remembering the time we took a family picture after graduation. It was me, my brother and mother in our graduate gowns, and I thought, when my younger brother graduates, we could all do it again. Take another picture at the studio. And then it hit me that it wouldn't be the same… since my dad won't be there.
But on a more positive note! Growing up, I learnt a lot from my father. He was a quiet person, who speaks only when needed and on those occasions, he makes his words count! I suppose that's why many have come to him for advice, and perhaps as a coach, (from my eavesdropping ears point of view anyways!) seldom he would tell others to do this or that, but helping them consider their options instead. And the way he says it is often in the most non-judgemental manner. And what he says often is not just from the head (logical) and heart (emotions) but from a peaceful core. From his soul perhaps.
Mum often tells stories of my father's generosity. InshaAllah may his gifts to others continue to bring him mercy from Allah in the hereafter. I remember in my student days, where my dad would drive me across country (literally!) from Tampines to NTU late at night… or whenever he found out that I was running low on funds and without question or comment, he would transfer money into my account.
Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time my dad scolds me for anything. Oh wait a minute, he does! He scolds me every Sunday for waking up late and dragging my sleepy feet in helping my mum with the cooking and cleaning! :P In my head at least, he still does. :)
My father worked as a teacher/lecturer in all his professional life. Although his passion, I suspect, was inventing! He taught Mechatronics Engineering at ITE and every few months he'd take up a new project with his colleagues. Of course my dad was the type to bring his work home! We'd be fascinated by the robots and all the programming on the computer and all the associated gadgets. I remember the robot that could do a lion dance! And a particular device that could tell the blind person what bus was approaching at the bus-stop. All of these assembled at the dinner table of course! :D
I learnt tenacity, focus, diligence, and getting the task done well with the best effort one can possibly give, no matter how simple or small the task may be. Sincerely from the soul, and whole-heartedly always. Come to think of it, that's what my mum and dad have in common :)
These days, as my father's friends visit my mum to offer company and their condolences, they too reminisce about their friendship with my father. And I'm hearing fascinating stories once again, a side of my father I never knew. Good things of course, about his ability to speak - apparently my dad was a very influential and affective speaker back in his youth activist days with HBI. That was how my father knew my mum. And thanks to his decisiveness and quick action, he had proposed to her. They were engaged and six months later, married.
It's surreal MashaAllah to think that if history had gone any other way, I would not be writing this at this very moment. What my father's legacy will be in the form of his children (and not to mention his many students!)… only time will tell, and only God knows. But one thing I know for sure is to remember to emulate the things he taught me… Sincerely from the soul, and whole-heartedly always. :)
